Starting a Personal Blog at 42

Siomai is a popular Chinese pork dish, served with chili soy sauce and calamansi juice. (Photo courtesy by Skela from Flickr.)

On January 28, 2009 — I just turned 42. So how do I feel about it? I sighed as I looked at myself on the mirror. I didn’t get to sleep until 2:30 am so the husband and the kids were able to greet me ‘happy birthday!’.

Well, am I happy now that I am 42? Why not? So what if I got more wrinkles and freckles now? I have a husband who loves them. Even my flabs and bulges, believe it or not. Maybe because he has them, too.

I tend to be casual on my birthdays. It’s not that I dislike celebrating mine. I just treat it as one of those ordinary days, except for a special dish or two that I cook for lunch or dinner.

When I was still single, I would just go some place where I can be alone for a while. Sometimes, I’d visit the church and meditate there. I prefer talking to God without a mass. It seemed more peaceful and more effective — but a bit lonely.

After 41 boring birthdays, I decided to do something special on my 42nd. That is, start a personal blog. It’s been 15 months since I discovered the Internet — and blogging is the first online stuff that fascinated me. But I couldn’t get to doing it at once because of other duties.

So here I am now. And I almost didn’t make it again. On the 28th, I woke up late. I had to do something before going to the market. It was so hot that day so I was tired when we got home. I was able to cook one ‘experimental’ dish only. I called it experimental because I used a new ingredient and it didn’t taste well. (No, I didn’t throw it away. I just put the large bowl of dried miki with stir-fried vegetables inside the refrigerator. It will be ‘repaired’ later.)

There were three unusual — and ‘first-time’ — happenings on that day:

• my eldest daughter had to go to the dentist for her braces,
• my husband insisted on buying new clothes for me, and
• my mother ‘jumped in’ when she heard we’re going to the nearby mall.

My husband thought that latter development would destroy the evening but I saw it as an opportunity to dovetail on our errands. I left my mother with my daughter at the clinic so that we could shop — and inquire about a DSL connection to our landline phone. This last one was disappointing because we had to wait for 52 minutes just to hear the customer service representative say: ‘Your area is not feasible.’

My husband was grumbling when we left there.

But my mother was all smiles. She seemed enjoying herself. She’s 73 and my other siblings didn’t want having an outing with her. She walks slowly and she talks too much. Unfortunately for her listeners, her favorite topics are often irritating.

Finding myself able to listen without reacting was a bit surprising on my part. In my youth, I was always quick to react on anything negative my mother says. But that night, I just made a comment here and there. Maybe because my attention was divided. I knew that my husband was never comfortable when my mother was around.

She’s also quick to criticize the food and the people around her. Though she seemed impressed with the fresh egg roll and the chopped roasted pig (because they came from a well-known restaurant); but disliked the steamed siomai. My daughter commented that the mixture had a lot of flour. I wasn’t able to taste it but I noticed that it looked starchy. My version of the dish has a lot of finely chopped vegetables like turnip, carrots, and young onion leaves mixed with lean ground pork.

My youngest daughter joined us from school. I stopped computing the amount of money I’m spending for an impromptu dinner. I bought fried chicken for her and for my son, who opted to play computer games at home. I also ordered a plate each of the Canton and Sotanghon Guisado from the only vegetarian restaurant there. Since we were all full, these two joined the take-out bag. We’re in the food court so we could choose different dishes from various food stalls that surrounded the area.

It was like having a weird dream. My husband was quiet most of the time. We were only able to talk when we’re alone. He’s in his ‘observing’ mode. My mother did not like him from the beginning so he had never trusted her. So it’s a good thing that I’m not the favorite daughter even though I’m the eldest.

Our eldest requested to buy a new bag so the weird dream continued. Mother decided to buy a new blouse, too. It never entered my mind to offer her the money to pay for her stuff. I’m kind of ‘burned off’ when giving monetary assistance to her. Once I gave her a hundred bucks as a birthday gift and she exclaimed: ‘Just this?!’ That time, a hundred bucks could buy 3 cans of formula milk for my first baby. I almost took back that money then.

Her age was fifty-plus years old then. After about twenty years, I still couldn’t forget it. I should but I really couldn’t. Having a long memory can be unpleasant.

Going back to the shopping mall, we ended up buying two backpacks and a pink stuff toy called ‘Lucky Cow.’

Well, I hope it will bring more luck to us. Our 2008 had been good and productive. We were able to buy a twin-tub washing machine, an oven gas range, a two-door refrigerator, and 32-inch LCD television with home theater. Plus one extra computer and two LCD monitors. All these major purchases while our three kids are all studying — with two of them in college.

How were we able to accomplish these? I’ll blog about them in future. That’s a promise.

That night ended when we got home and went in to our separate quarters. Mother lives on the second floor while my family of five are squeezed in a two-room place, which is about three meters wide and fourteen meters long. It is very small but it is a happy home.

More than two years ago, we were living in a two-storey house and a large yard. We had to leave it behind, together with the dogs, cows, and goats…

So there goes my birthday. It was sort of a happy, distracted, and tired day.

I thanked my hubby for his gifts with a warm cuddle and quick peck on the cheek. We couldn’t do more than that with the kids around.